Small Shifts, Big Impact: Practicing Empathy Through Sonder

This reflection, written by Catherine Dennis, aims to encourage empathy and understanding within our community by sharing a personal experience and introducing the concept of “sonder.”

Change is in the air: leaves are falling, days are growing shorter, and holidays are appearing in stores and homes throughout the valley. Yet, in the Department of Early Learning, our commitment to children and families remains steadfast. Many in our community face daily challenges, including transportation, food insecurity, immigration, housing, employment, domestic violence, or substance misuse. These hardships often leave little room for relief from ongoing stress.

Recently, I encountered a new word that prompted deeper reflection: sonder. Sonder is the awareness of the unseen worlds within every individual we meet. It is the profound realization that each person we serve is living a life as vivid and complex as our own, shaped by unique worries, ambitions, routines, norms, and experiences. This word has helped me cultivate greater empathy and compassion. It has deepened my ability to recognize the shared humanity and inherent value in every individual. While I have always strived for this awareness, “sonder” gave me a moment to pause and truly acknowledge it.

I had an opportunity to reframe a situation recently because of this new perspective. While traveling early from the Wenatchee office, I found myself behind a vehicle moving well below the speed limit. Heavy traffic on the opposite side left no room for passing, so I was stuck behind this car, which was going at least 15 to 20 mph under the limit. Remembering the word “sonder,” I began to consider the driver’s experience. Perhaps something in their life caused them to drive more slowly. Instead of becoming frustrated or tailgating, I chose to respond with compassion. I realized that just because I am comfortable driving at the speed limit does not mean everyone else is.

Small adjustments in our responses, when we pause to recognize “sonder,” give us a chance to grow. This awareness strengthens our ability to regulate our reactions, to be curious, and to choose differently.

As you navigate the seasons of change, I encourage you to embrace “sonder” in your daily interactions with children, staff, and families. By doing so, we can better support their unique needs and foster a more inclusive environment for all, which may be one of the best gifts of the season.